No Control
by blurrywhisk
Summary: Dan has always had anxiety, panic attacks, and asthma but his teenage daughter doesn't even care that it drives Dan to self harm again and Phil finds out about the self harm
1. Chapter 1: Dan

Dan groaned as his explosion effect glitched. He had been editing for 4 hours and he still wasn't done. He ran his hand through his hair and tugged on some strands, putting his head in his arms. He closed his eyes and a snooty "Father." was heard. Dan looked up and saw his 16 year old daughter standing at the doorway with her arms crossed across her chest, black hair in a tight ponytail. Dan breathed out loudly, "Yes, Chloe?" he asked.

Chewing on her gum loudly, Chloe said rudely, "I want you to take me to the cinema, like now." Dan shook his head and said politley, "I'm sorry, but no honey." She glared at him, "And why not?" He stood up. "Look, Chloe, I am very busy with my new video and I need to finish it by tomorrow or I'll be in trouble."

"You care more about your stupid videos than me! I am your daughter!" Dan's breathing quickened, he hated getting yelled at. "I know that but I also have millions of people counting on me." Chloe stomped her foot like a five year old, "They are useless! They just obsess over you and you respond to them on twitter! You don't obsess over me or even love me!" She shrieked. Dan swallowed, "I do love you. Why wouldn't I?" He shakily whispered.

"NO YOU DON'T!" She yelled at the top of her lungs. Dan fell to the floor shaking and breathing heavily. "I HATE YOU!" Dan scooted over to the corner, hugging his knees in fear. "Please, stop. My anxiety. P-panic attack-ks..." Dan felt tears at the corners of his eyes. "I don't care about your stupid anxiety." Chloe spit harshly. She turned and left, leaving Dan in the corner.


	2. Chapter 2: Dan explains

_Dan put his head in between his stomach and knees. He felt tears slip out of his eyes as he shook quite severely. He rocked back and forth for a couple minutes before falling asleep on the floor._

 _Two Hours Later:_

Phil Lester shut the door to the apartment and called out to his boyfriend. When he didn't get an answer, he quickly ran up the stairs of everest and went to the lounge. He spotted Dan on the floor and smiled lightly, kneeling down in front of him, he gently shook Dan awake and was shocked to see that his eyes were bloodshot.

"Dan, what happened?" He mumbled as Dan sat up. Dan looked away from him and quietly murmured, "Nothing." Phil frowned. "Daniel I know something is wrong with you don't lie." Phil picked up Dan and carried him to the sofa. He gently put him down and sat next to him.

"Dan, please tell me." He gently said, brushing some of Dan's hair from his eyes. Dan let out a shaky breath and swallowed, "Chloe." was all that he could say before he broke down. Dan fell onto Phil and let out loud sobs. Phil hugged Dan and rubbed circles on his back before asking, "What do you mean?"(A/N: i stg I hate that song) HIs response was, "S-she...yelled...hha..at...hhhaa...m-me." Phil was dumbfounded, "What did she say?"

Dan pulled away from Phil, and wiped his tear stained face. "She told me horrible things. She told me that she hates me and that she doesn't care about my anxiety."


	3. Chapter 3: Chloe

Just as he finished his sentence, a sound of a door opening and closing echoed around the house. He jumped and wiped his tears away with his sleeve and looked at Phil, who stood up and went downstairs to find Chloe talking on her phone. Phil cleared his throat and Chloe ignores him, going upstairs into the lounge. Phil followed pursuit. Upon seeing Chloe, Dan recoiled against the sofa and trembled. Chloe saw and stomped her foot on the floor, Dan squeaked and shook harder. Chloe laughed but stopped when she heard another voice.

"Leave him alone!" roared her father. Chloe froze and dropped her phone. It shattered onto the floor.

"Why should I?" she sneered. She had to admit, she was a bit scared.

"Three reasons," said Phil, walking over to Dan and placing a hand on his shoulder,  
"One, he has severe anxiety. Two, he used to self-harm." He gently took hold of Dan's right wrist, showing tons of scars. Dan freed his arm from Phil's grasp and hid it, ashamed. Phil looked at Dan for a second, with pity, before looking back at Chloe. "Three, he also gets panic attacks everyday all the time with then makes him have an asthma attack."

"So what? He can get a fucking therapist for all I care."

"Don't you swear at us!" Phil spat. He balled up his fists, knuckles turning white.

"Well does I look like I care that this 25 year old man is mental?"

"He is not mental!" Phil cried out, Dan covered his ears and let out a quiet wheezing sound. Both Chloe and Phil looked at him, Phil kneeled beside Dan and rubbed circles on his back. Phil looked at Chloe and glared.

"See what you- WE have done?!" He said in a cold, soft voice. His eyes have lost their shine and were replaced with fury.

Chloe scoffed, "He's just a stupid, mental MAN! HE DOESN'T EVEN LOVE ME!" She screeched, her hair getting in the way of her eyesight.

As soon as Dan heard this, he felt tears at the corners of his eyes and ran off, sobbing.

Phil shot up and walked slowly towards Chloe with a scowl on his face. Chloe lifted her leg up and precceded to kick Phil's leg. But Phil was too quick for her and he tackled her, pinning her arms above her head.

"Ohh, kinky." She smirked.

Phil looked revolted. He blinked a couple times before choking out, "I am your father! What the hell!" He quickly got up and gagged a couple times.

His daughter had the biggest ego ever. She introduced that when they first adopted her last year and she exactly wasn't pretty. She had a large mole on her nose and crooked teeth. She was a huge slut. She didn't care if it was a 14 year old or a 29 year old, she slept with them all.

"You're such a slut Chloe." Phil spat out.

"Oh yeah? Talk about dad. I have heard his whorish moans in bed." She uttered out.

Phil blushed a little. "That's between me and your father."

"My mental father. My crazy father. _My whore of a father_."

Phil had enough, pointing upstairs, he screamed, "THAT'S IT. GO TO YOUR ROOM."

"Fine."

Seeing Chloe running to her room, Phil set out to look for Dan.


	4. Explainations

Explainations

So this is an author's note.

Obviously.

Anyways, Dan and Phil decided to adopt an adolescent because they thought it would be easier to take care of her and Dan wasn't ready to take care of an infant.

Chloe had a tragic past because her mother got killed by a man who looks awfully like Dan.

She hates Dan because of that reason and also because he doesn't really treat her with respect.

He does love her but he ignores her at times and Chloe took this to heart.

My time is done, bye :)))


	5. Chapter 4: Backstory

Song- Control by Halsey

A/N: The lyrics are not in order.

Dan POV-

I paced around the gaming room, taking deep breaths.

I glanced at the computers. I saw my reflection on the screens. I saw the real me. I saw a mental man, a freak, a monster. I started shaking, feeling my rage all over my body. I grabbed chunks of my hair and pulled. I hissed at the pain and then I got an idea.

I hurried over to the drawers and looked for it.

 _Who is in control?_

I smiled when I saw the gleaming blades.

 _And I've grown familiar with the villans in my head._

I slowly picked up the scissors and sat cris-crossed. I let go of the scissors for a moment to pull down my sleeve but immediately grabbed them and pulled the blades apart.

I took a deep breath and slid the cool blade against my burning skin. I made a tiny cut, not wanting a giant mess. I saw little flowers of blood come out from the cut and I felt nice. I made more cuts, seeing the flowers again and again until I stopped and grabbed a plaster from the drawer.

I slowly wrapped it around my wrist and tied it so it wouldn't come off. Remembering the bloody scissors, I went and hid them behind the desk.

 _I can't help this awful energy._

Feeling a bit tired, I laid down on the sofa bed and curled up in the fetal position, wincing as I felt a sharp pain on my wrist. I slowly felt sleep taking over me as I closed my eyes.

Phil POV-

I ran around the flat, looking for Dan. Of course I was extremely worried, he self-harmed. Who knows what he could do alone. I poked my head in the doorway of the kitchen, nothing.

I have already searched everywhere else. Except, except...

 _The gaming room._

I speed to the gaming room, I turn the doorknob and push the door, finding Dan on the sofa bed, sleeping. I let out a sigh of relief and tip-toe to my boyfriend. I crouch down beside him and softly stroke his hair, moving a few strands away from his peaceful face.

I examine his face and I see the marks where his tears stained his pale face and his bright pink lips.

Those perfect lips.

I kiss him temple and sit on the floor waiting for him to wake up.

Dan POV-

I wake up and see Phil sitting on the floor, looking at me. His eyes full of worry and love.

I smile slightly but then winced. I forgot about my cuts. Phil noticed and asked, "What's wrong love?"

"N-nothing." I quickly say. Phil stares at me for a moment, as if not believing me but then says, "Okay."

 _I'm meaner than my demons._

 _And I tried to hide these secrets inside me._

I sat up and gave a reassuring smile to Phil. But then I felt them coming back.

I looked up to the ceiling to stop my tears from getting out. Phil gazed at me and then cleared his throat. I jumped and looked back down.

"Do you want a sandwich?" He asked.

I nodded, "Please, no mayonaise." He caresses my cheek for a moment before leaving for the kitchen. I shut the door after him and started pacing.

 _I paced around for hours, on empty._

I hit the wall and groaned. A loud _thump_ caught my attention. I looked and saw a picture frame on the floor. Sighing I picked it up and turned it over. My heart stopped as I saw the photo.

It was a family photo. Me and Phil and a 15 year old Chloe. All of us had white on, smiling like a proud family. But then I looked at Chloe. She wasn't smiling.

 _She was frowning._

She was glaring at me who didn't seem to notice. It was a devilish glare.

I slowly put the photo down and shakily sat down. Breathing in and out, with wheezing in between. Realizing that I was having an asthma attack, I stood up and wobbled over to the desk where my inhaler was. I grabbed it and put the medication in my mouth. I pressed down a couple times before my breathing became more normal. Or as normal as it should be.

I had to stop having these attacks just because of the little things. But, then again, I couldn't help it.

I sat down on one of the desk chairs and put my head in my hands. Sighing, I thought as to why Chloe hated me.

Then I remembered.

When we were at the adoption center in Wales, the owner took Phil and I to a private room because she wanted to discuss something about Chloe.

She told us that when Chloe was 10, her mother was killed by her boyfriend.

Who looked a lot like Dan.

 _"The thing is, Chloe has a horrible temper, she gets angry easily and she does get pretty violent." She adjusted her glasses, "Do you think you can handle her?"_

 _Phil put his hands together on the desk and nodded, looking over at Dan who was looking at the wall. Dan was worried and planned to stay away from her, not neccisarily ignoring her._

Dan POV

Then we brought her home, of course I planned to stay away from her. As Phil gave her a tour of the flat, I followed them but I stayed behind them.

"So, this is your room." Phil said, opening the door to my old room and letting her in. Chloe smiled and turned to hug Phil. Phil hugged back and released her to let her explore her room.

I went to me and Phil's room and threw myself onto the bed.

 _Three hours later_

After eating dinner, Phil and I decided to explain our careers to Chloe. We sat her down on the sofa and looked at her in the eye. Phil took a deep breath,

"So, what do you think our careers are?" He mumbled.

"Well, I think you work at an office," She pointed at me. "and you must also work at an office." She nodded at Phil.

"Not quite." Phil said, "We both work for YouTube."

"I've heard of YouTube and seen some YouTubers."

"Both Dan and I, we have millions of subscribers and we have a large fanbase."

I crossed my arms across my chest, "We have been in many magazines and we have gone on tour. We also have a book."

Chloe nodded. "So you're famous?"

"Duh."

 **Bad mistake.**

Chloe frowned, "Did you just say duh to me?" She asked, pointing at herself.

I gulped, "Yes."

"No one says duh to me!" She screeched.

 **Shit.**

I slowly backed away into a corner and slid down the wall, trying to escape. I recoiled into a ball and shook. Sweat was falling.

"Shit." Phil cursed and hurried over to me. Kneeling over, he touched my shoulder. I scooted away.

"Don't effing touch me." I hissed coldy. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Chloe sitting on the couch a little shocked but smirking.

Phil quickly pulled his hand away and asked, "One to ten?"

"Nine." I coughed.

He ran a hand through his hair and breathed out heavily through his nose. He calmly asked, "Can I rub your back?" I nodded and felt Phil's soothing touch rubbing circles on my back.

I started to calm down and then felt the effect of a panic attack.

I started to feel sleepy.

"Ph-Phil, sleep." I mumbled. I could hardly keep my eyes open. Phil gently scooped me up and all I remember before blacking out was a smile of a certain girl.

Do you guys like this fic? I like it, I just want to know.

A


	6. Chapter 5: ur hoe comes back

Dan always found comfort in the piano. Ever since he could remember, he played every night and whenever he had time in the day.

It can explain why he sat at his piano just after Chloe had left.

He didn't even get how he resembled that...man that she hates so much. He never did anything to harm her.

He plucks at the first few notes of Moonlight Sonata and begins from there. He plays with pain and sadness. She couldn't just hate her very own father out of the blue if he didn't do anything to hurt her.

He wasn't involved with any gangs and he most certainly didn't participate in that horrendous group who kidnapped people and hurt them. They were all over the news back then and he didn't have any affiliation to them.

Or did he?

yes this is fuccin short but anyways 'ello it's mother hoe back with this mess of a fic :)))))))


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